Teddy's Rant

Senator Graham

2009-05-20T17:21:00.001+01:00

Wunder......

2009-01-14T21:31:00.000Z

Gay Marriage

2008-10-28T23:03:00.000Z

In Sync

2008-10-28T19:14:00.003Z

Letterman and Palin

2008-10-12T07:44:00.002+01:00

Oh poor Hillary

2008-09-30T15:14:00.001+01:00

Sarah

2008-09-30T14:38:00.000+01:00

Oh that this were really a joke.

Don't Dis Letterman!

2008-09-26T12:54:00.001+01:00

Dickhead

2008-08-30T21:50:00.001+01:00

Good with his balls

2008-08-30T19:47:00.000+01:00

Question

2008-07-21T21:44:00.002+01:00

I'm sitting here eating a bowl of blueberries and I find myself wondering a couple things.

First, why are blueberries called blueberries when they're purple?

Second, how is it they're so damned tasty?

The first question leads me to so many more. Who decides the names of fruits and veg? Strawberry, raspberry, kiwi, blackberry (ok, that one makes sense), etc. I mean honestly, strawberries aren't made of straw, and raspberries aren't raspy, kiwis aren't made of little creepy birds with long slender snouts. Why do we name the things in our lives what we name them?

Too Funny

2008-07-02T17:17:00.000+01:00

Foreskin

2008-07-01T23:38:00.001+01:00

The Foreskin Saga

John Sedgwick takes an up – close look at the increasingly potent movement against male circumcision

Chris is 25, tall, well-spoken and, in his three-button suit, quite handsome. He’s classy—that is, eminently presentable, and not at all what I expect, given the bizarre nature of his current “project,” as he calls it. Which is the reason I’ve come to see him at his downtown Philadelphia office, where he works in higher education. For the past two years, Chris has been “restoring” his foreskin. Stretching it, really. He began by attaching what little free skin he retained postcircumcision to an elastic band that ran down his leg, swinging once around his knee and clipping to his sock. He still wears this contraption every day, all day long, to tug him gently, to return him to what he once was and, he believes, what he should be. Then, at night, he clips the elastic around his shoulder to pull on him some more while he sleeps. With some pride, he told me over the phone that he has attained “full coverage.” And he offered to show me. I probably should have said “No thanks.” Even journalists have their limits, and I didn’t relish the prospect of being hit on by a wang-baring stranger. And foreskin restoration sounded like a freak show. But context is everything, and I knew that, at bottom, Chris’s project was about something more than just his cock. It wasn’t a project at all; it was a cause. He was reasserting the rights of his gender-to remain intact, to obtain sexual pleasure, to not get cut. And in so doing, he was taking the long war over circumcision into a new and possibly final phase. There aren’t many restorers. Restoration groups (yes, there are such things) claim that 20,000 men worldwide are stretching themselves, but I’d be surprised if more than a few thousand are at it.

Still, the restorers are the Act Up radicals of the anti-circumcision movement, the ones who ignore the boundaries of what’s considered OK. To them circumcision is a question neither of health nor of looking like Dad. It is a matter of inalienable human rights, just as female circumcision is, no matter how many feminists squawk at the analogy. And right now that argument is winning. The American Academy of Pediatrics previously looked favorably upon circumcision but now calls the practice a matter of personal preference. The circumcision rate has fallen to 65 percent of American males, down from 80 percent in 1980. To drive that percentage down further, toward an estimated 15 percent of the rest of the world, Chris is prepared to take drastic action. He is ready to bare himself to me. How could I not say OK?

In his office, we chat nervously for a few minutes, like strangers on a date. Then we go downstairs and take a cab to my hotel, where I’ve reserved a room for the viewing. There is a temporary, infuriating snafu when the receptionist declares that, despite assurances to the contrary, my room will not be ready for three hours. But Chris insists on speaking to the manager, who consults his computer and produces a parlor room for us. Alone in the elevator, I compliment Chris on his chutzpah. “If that’s what it takes to get people to stop lopping off guys’ dicks, then that’s what it takes,” he says coolly.

There is a foldout bed in the room, but we studiously ignore it. He takes a seat at the table by the window, with me across from him. “When I told my mother I was going to see you, she said that was ‘outrageous,’” Chris says. “She said that many, many times.” How did his girlfriend react? He smiles. “She said, ‘No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!’ ” He reaches into a shopping bag he’s brought with him and pulls out a roll of hospital tape, a short strip of flexible plastic and some scissors. “This is what I’ve been using,” he tells me. His hands shake as he carefully encases the plastic strip in tape to demonstrate the technique, and my breath is not coming too smoothly. I am feeling the power of the moment, the power of overwhelming candor. He looks up at me and asks once more if I’d like to see how it goes on. My heart thumps as I say “Sure.” He stands up and pulls down his pants; his shorts follow.

Journalism has taken me many places, but it has never taken me here. My eyes go to his cock, where, sure enough, the head of his penis is covered with a foreskin. An amazingly normal-looking foreskin, slightly bluish. Its only unusual feature is that it is somewhat loose, like a sock that’s lost its cling. “I don’t have the frenar band” he says sorrowfully, looking down. He refers to the ring of flesh that gives an uncircumcised foreskin its pucker. Then he looks at me again. “To put the tape on, I’ll have to get an erection. Would you be comfortable with that?” For a moment, I have trouble concentrating on what he is saying. Erection? I haven’t been in the presence of an erection that is not my own since one very strange night in prep school. “Sure,” I say again, not that it is the truth.

“I’ll have to squeeze it a little,” he says, grabbing himself. In moments, his penis flowers into a full-scale hard-on, and I am more than a little awestruck to see an immense phallus rise up a few feet from my nose. His thing is a real missile. Is he getting off on this? Am I? It certainly crosses my mind that this is only a tawdry homoerotic encounter dressed up with politics, but there’s something deeper than sex in the room: two guys figuring out what it is to be a man. He clears away some smegma from the underside (“Sorry about that”), and then he shows me where the foreskin merges with the shaft. He encircles the tape right there. He then lets his dick go limp and pulls the tape up over the tip of his penis. He looks in his shopping bag again and groans. Somehow, in his anxiety, he’s forgotten to bring the elastic strap that goes down his leg to his sock. “I’m really sorry,” he says. I tell him not to worry. I have a pretty good idea as it is. Besides, I tell him, we’ve just experienced a major cultural moment together, and I’m not kidding. It’s like the early days in the women’s movement, when women first put mirrors between their legs to see what they had down there. We’ve learned something about manhood. He smiles, evidently pleased with the thought. “So what if you show your dick to someone, and so what if you have an erection when that happens?” he says with renewed assurance. “This is going on in the name of something greater.” We talk a little more, and when I walk him down the hall to the elevator, I’m tempted to give him a hug. But, of course, I don’t.

THROUGHOUT HISTORY, a foreskin has never been just another piece of skin. It has always been an emblem of something more significant. In primitive societies, the foreskin has long been removed as a rite of passage into manhood, as if the revelation of the member denotes the emergence of the man. For Muslims and Jews, a clipped foreskin is a sign of acceptance of the faith. In this sex-obsessed country, circumcision was first practiced to discourage masturbation. Victorians believed the loose folds of foreskin promoted “self-abuse,” as they called it. Indeed, one of the foremost circumcision boosters was Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, of cereal fame, whose sex-averse attitudes were lampooned by T. Coraghessan Boyle in his novel (and in the movie) The Road to Wellville. But in the great circumcision debate, actual and metaphorical cleanliness have always been linked, and the antimasturbation arguments were supplemented by those of hygienists, who claimed that a foreskin-enshrouded glans harbored germs. For a long time, Americans have found that case remarkably persuasive. Although circumcision is much less common elsewhere in the world, it is still the most frequently performed surgical procedure for males in the United States.

This surgery has never happened to me. I am one of the rare ones, an intact American male, and, as such, a subject of envy for restorers like Chris. Truth be told, I’d never thought much about my foreskin. I’d been in enough shower rooms to know it was an oddity. And, like other oddities, it was a subject of some mild shame throughout my adolescence. It was like the scar on the small of my back from a childhood operation. That made me different in back, just as this made me different in front. But maybe I was being overly sensitive. The only time I can remember someone making an issue of it was when a friend called out “Mighty long foreskin, Sedgwick” when I stepped into the communal shower at prep school.

As I grew older, the symbolism shifted. Other guys might be out there-not me. Even when I’m naked, a significant portion of my self remains concealed, making my genitals more internal, like a woman’s. I’m hooded, like a monk. It makes my sexuality seem slightly furtive, mysterious. The aesthetics are hard to decide: To my eye, an uncircumcised prick can look droopy and unkempt, but I’m not sure I go for the Nazi-helmet-head style, either, since it looks to me like an inverted erection. I appreciate the added sense of revelation a foreskin can bring to sex, making a hard-on not only a sexual display but also a kind of unveiling, as the head of the penis is dramatically bared as it hardens. This is a matter of taste, but it’s an elemental taste. It’s more than whether you prefer your shirts tailored or off-the-rack; it’s choosing between classical and romantic, tamed and wild.

From what I’ve read about that first cut, I don’t want any part of it. God almighty! Circumcision sounds like something dreamed up by the Marquis de Sade and enacted by the Department of Defense: The newborn baby is strapped down, spread-eagled, on a small board called a Circumstraint. The surgeon slices the foreskin lengthwise to peel it forcibly from the glans. (The foreskin doesn’t naturally separate from the head of the penis for several years; until then, it adheres to the skin underneath.) Then comes the clamp. One of the most common is the Gomco clamp, a demonic-looking device that fits tightly around a bell that is slipped under the foreskin and over the head of the baby’s penis. The clamp is tightened, crushing the foreskin, which is then removed with a scalpel. Just the thought of this makes me cup my hands over my privates. O the blood! O the wailing! Incredibly, for years this procedure was done without anesthesia, in the belief that babies felt no pain. Right.

It was the pain that got to Marilyn Milos. She was a postpartum nurse at Marin Hospital in California during the late 1970s and early ’80s, and more than any other person, she has been the one to cause the downturn in the circumcision rate in the years since 1980. Revolutions have to start somewhere. Milos had had her own three boys circumcised, but she started to question the practice when she heard the babies yowling and saw them turning red when they went under the knife. “The doctors kept saying, ‘It doesn’t hurt. It only takes a second. And it will protect them from every horror that could ever befall them,’ ” she recalls. “But I thought, Yeah? Well, then, why are the babies screaming?”

When she received no good answer to that question, she videotaped the procedure to show it to expectant mothers and discourage them from opting for what doctors often described as “a little trim.” When the hospital refused to allow her to show the tape, she got really steamed. “They were trying to hush me. They said I was upsetting the patient,” she recalls, still furious. “I said, ‘No, the baby’s the patient, and nobody’s more upset than he is.’ ” Milos and another nurse went on to found the National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers, or NOCIRC, the first national organization aimed at eliminating the routine circumcision of infant boys. “Circumcised men have been primally wounded, tortured and mutilated when too little to defend themselves, and the best part of their penis has been thrown into the trash can,” she exclaims, pulling out all the rhetorical stops.

NOCIRC, in turn, inspired R. Wayne Griffiths, a sociology professor turned construction inspector in the San Francisco Bay area, to restore his foreskin. If he wasn’t the first to do that, he was the first to make a big deal about it. First he used tape to try to stretch himself. Growing impatient, he acquired a pair of stainless-steel ball bearings-one an inch in diameter, the other an inch and a quarter-to dangle off himself. After two years, he had his foreskin back. Griffiths founded an organization for other restorers, called NORM, for National Organization of Restoring Men. NORM, in turn, turned on Tim Hammond, a massage therapist and human rights activist. He added a political arm, NOHARMM (for National Organization to Halt the Abuse and Routine Mutilation of Males), to the anti-circ movement. After that the anti-circ groups proliferated like weeds-BUFF, UNCIRC, DOC. There were information centers, Web sites, support groups.

But none of them would have had the impact they have had if not for a Canadian pathologist named John R. Taylor, who discovered the key element the anti-circ movement lacked: the sex angle. Taylor had gotten into a disagreement with his son-in-law over whether or not to circumcise Taylor’s grandson. Born in England, Taylor was not circumcised; the son-in-law was. Determined to resolve the dispute scientifically, Taylor sliced into the foreskins of twenty-one uncircumcised cadavers (a grisly job, surely) to conduct the first detailed analysis of the delicate tissue of the foreskin’s ridged band. “There have been lots of circumcisions done,” Taylor notes dryly. “You’d rather think that doctors would know what they were removing. It turns out they didn’t.” Taylor’s results, published in the British Journal of Urology in 1996, showed that the foreskin, far from being “extra,” is one of the most sensitive parts of a man’s body. The last inch or two–the part that’s routinely cut off-contains ten to twelve ridges that are replete with specialized nerve endings, called Meissner’s corpuscles, that, Taylor writes, “may be compared with similar nerve endings in the fingertips and lips.” Whereas the foreskin is loaded with nerves, the head of the denuded penis is a blunt instrument. “ [It] is insensitive to light touch, heat, cold and, as far as the authors are aware, to pinprick,” Taylor reports. Worse, the head becomes less sensitive the longer it is exposed to the elements postcircumcision, due to a callusing-type process called keratinization. The son-in-law decided to spare his newborn son the knife.

Since writing the article, Taylor has gone further, suggesting that, besides having an exquisite sensitivity, the foreskin appears to play a major role in triggering orgasm. He notes that the muscles that produce an orgasm automatically contract when the foreskin is pulled back during penetration. Taylor speculates this might have an evolutionary purpose, to encourage the deep thrusting that fires sperm directly into the cervix, improving the chance of conception.

Marilyn Milos of NOCIRC adds that the foreskin naturally slides over the ridge of the penis during sex, producing heavenly sensations for the man and reducing friction for the woman. Milos has had a husband of each type, and she much prefers the uncircumcised variety—“intact” is the word she uses. “With a circumcised penis, it feels like I’m being penetrated by a doorknob,” she says bluntly. “It’s a dry, hardened dowel.” In her experience, the circumcised man concentrates excessively on his frenulum-the ridge of delicate flesh on the underside of the penis, just below the head-whereas the uncircumcised one gleefully presses all around, giving her a fuller, more satisfying experience. As for her current, circumcised husband: “We’re experimenting. We’re trying new positions.”

Armed with this new information, the anti-circers go so far as to argue that male circumcision is equally as horrendous as female circumcision, even when it involves a clitorectomy. To them, removing the foreskin is as bad as removing the clitoris. While neither of these genital areas is essential to sex (a woman without a clitoris can reach orgasm, just as a circumcised man can), both certainly enhance and facilitate it. Female circumcision has been banned by federal law since 1996, but the male variety is still legal. “No part of a female’s genitalia may be cut off for or cultural reasons, but you can freely lop off 50 percent of a boy’s shaft skin,” Tim Hammond of NOHARMM says angrily.

As is usual with such disputes, the revolutionaries are far more organized and aggressive than the traditionalists. There is no pro-circ movement. If there were, it would most likely be headed by Edgar Schoen, M.D., a senior consultant in pediatrics at the Kaiser Permanente Medical Care Program in Oakland. He headed the 1989 American Academy of Pediatrics task force on circumcision, which was the latest one to come out in favor of the practice, and to this day Schoen is a “very strong” believer in the value of circumcision as a preventive health measure. The circumcised penis is simply less prone to disease, he says. According to his studies at Kaiser Permanente, uncircumcised baby boys have a rate of urinary-tract infections ten times greater than that of their circumcised counterparts, and later in life, uncircumcised men are twenty times more likely to have invasive penile cancer, which Schoen terms a “horrible disease [that] rots away your genitalia and every other darn thing.” There is also evidence from Africa that circumcised men are less likely to contract HIV/AIDS from an infected female, since foreskins can have tiny abrasions that offer avenues for the virus to enter the body.

When I mention the anti-circ line that sex might be better for the uncircumcised, Schoen scoffs: “Wrong! Wrong!” He declares there is no study showing this, although he acknowledges it would be difficult to design one that provided a scientific basis for comparison. Instead, he points to a survey of Iowa women who, by a wide margin, said they preferred a man’s penis to be circumcised, largely because it’s cleaner and more “normal.” If the foreskin is particularly sensitive, however, it stands to reason that men would lose sensation if it’s removed. Samuel Kunin, a urologist and mohel in the Los Angeles area who has performed between 6,000 and 7,000 circumcisions, acknowledges as much, but he says that any loss of sensation is more than made up for by the increased staying power of the circumcised man. “If you think of sexual pleasure equaling sensation times time, I’ll take the time,” he says. “And you know who wants the time more than the guy? The girl.”

A fellow named Orville would agree. Now 23, he had himself circumcised at 21 after moving to New York from the West Indies, where circumcision isn’t practiced. He couldn’t be happier with his trimmed dick. “It’s like I got this new toy, ” he says proudly. “And I don’t want to keep it to myself.” He used to be shy when the girls at strip clubs pulled down his zipper. “They’d go, like, ew,” he says. Not anymore. “Now I’m more outgoing. If I’m at a club, I’ll pull my joint out and, like, do it right there.” And he lasts much longer, too. It used to be that he could go for an hour and a half. Now, he swears, he can last three and a half hours. How would he rate his newly shorn penis? “I give it a ten straight out.”

As Kunin points out, the most important six inches in sex are the ones between your ears. So it is not so surprising that Orville should find ecstasy in his clipped cock or that Chris should find his in a restored one. Sex is what you make it. Still, it does seem cruel that such a fateful decision as circumcision is invariably made for a man before he is old enough to decide for himself. Why not let him do it later if he wants, as Orville chose to do? Yes, there is the evidence of infant urinary-tract infections, but even the 2 percent that Edgar Schoen found in uncircumcised infants is still less than what girls experience a few years later. (Doctors in favor of circumcision argue that the boys’ infections can be serious, potentially leaving kidney scars.) Penile cancer is truly a wretched disease, but it is also a rare one, with only 1,500 cases a year, and 200 to 300 deaths, in the United States, most of them in old men. And as for HIV/AIDS, men should be wearing condoms anyway.

Undoubtedly, with all the anti-circ politics cropping up, some men are becoming unduly exercised about an issue that their fathers (and most other men) have thought nothing about. NORM’s R. Wayne Griffiths spends hours on the phone counseling men who are filled with rage over what was taken from them. “They are as angry as anyone can possibly be,” he says. “Lots of them can’t even talk to their parents anymore, they are so mad at them.” That rage is probably misplaced. But it is shocking that given the emphasis the culture places on sexuality, a primary sex receptor is routinely cut off by doctors who, with the blessing of uninformed parents, assume they are doing their tiny patients a favor. Here in the First World, we often laugh at the “barbaric” customs of the Third. But, frankly, routine circumcision, despite being sanctioned by the medical establishment, seems just as barbaric as anything done in Africa, the Middle East or Asia-so barbaric that it makes foreskin restoration seem reasonable. Talking to Chris, I ask him what he thinks when he steps into a shower room now and sees all the circumcised penises. “It’s like they’re all wounded,” he says. “All I can think of is the scar.” Today, when I look around, I realize I’ve started to think that way myself. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that a foreskin is the key to happiness, but I’m glad to have mine. And, by God, I’m going to keep it.

John Sedgwick is a GQ writer-at-large

Truly AWESOME

2008-07-01T11:58:00.001+01:00

I just sent this video out to a couple people. All I can say is it's amazing what the guys were able to do so flawlessly.

2008-06-18T23:07:00.006+01:00

Now most of you know I'm a keen observer of human activity and nature. I like to watch and remember everything I see about people. One of the best ways to observe the way people interact is through advertisements. I was traveling on the London Underground the other day when I came across the following ad.

I'm a bit puzzled by the ad. I understand the message of it, but I can't quite see why the THT (Terrance Higgins Trust) would use a man's naked, muscled torso to sell their message.

The only reason I stopped to look at the ad was because right in front of me was a rather beautiful man's body! What more could a gay man ask for but gratuitous naked men in media? Yet, I can't help but wonder if the message is lost because of the photo in the ad.

Straight men I ask you, if you were to see a woman in near all her glory on a poster that is geared to get you to think about STDs (STIs in the UK) would you notice the text of the ad or would you just see the woman's flesh? Yeah, I thought so. Same thing with this ad geared towards, in my humble opinion, gay men. Men are men, gay or straight. Yes, what a powerfully obvious statement, right? Well think about it, a straight man looks at a beautiful woman who is willing to show her flesh regardless of what is happening around them. The same is true of gay men looking at, dare I say it, sexy men who are willing to show off their flesh.

I'm a fan of THT. They do a tremendous job in helping prevent STDs and HIV, in addition to aiding those who are afflicted by HIV or other STDs. Still, I can't help but wonder who authorized this ad to be published? Did they stop the think about human nature? Did they think that anyone would stop to read it (that is, other than me) after their attention was drawn to the oversized photo of a man's muscled torso? I don't think they did. The average commuter traveling on the tube is not going to stop and ponder the implications of an ad that shows a man or woman's torso on a poster are they? They're too busy with their busy lives, rushing to and fro. They may notice the ad and lust after the body they see, either wish they could have the person portrayed in the ad, or that they could look like the person in the ad, but that's the extent of it for the average commuter.

What do you think the ideal ad would be for this most sensitive of issues? How would you catch the eye, and the mind of someone who is walking by? While you think of the answer, here are two more ads/signs you might enjoy.

This ad was posted at the same tube station in London as the THT ad.

This is from a store in Walnut Creek. It's still fucking hilarious.

Ok, now that you've had time to form your ad, let me know what you would say to get people's attention and spread the message that THT is trying to express and get people to internalize. I'll post your ads.

The Bubble

2008-06-16T04:22:00.001+01:00

It's 3:30 am here in London and I've only just finished a marathon run of DVD watching. First there were several James Bond movies, which are just my all time favourites in the world. James Bond is the man! Then to round off the evening/night, I took in a foreign film. You know how people say, "I laughed, I cried" when they talk about movies? Well, now I can honestly say those words. I laughed, I cried, and the movie was delicious food for thought. The title of this film is "The Bubble."

The story takes place in Tel Aviv and Nablus. It starts with at a check-pointe entering Tel Aviv. There we meet two of our protagonists. One an Israeli military reservist (Noam) and the other a Palestinian (Shimi). As the story progresses the two find themselves meeting up again near randomly and they quickly become friends. Noam lives with 2 other people and the 4 set off to end the Israeli occupation of Nablus, Gaza, and West Bank. Lofty thinking, but the right idea. In order to change the "hearts and minds" of the Israelis and Palestinian they throw a rave.

Shimi must travel back and forth between Tel Aviv and Nablus where he lives so he can attend his sister's wedding, and help his new found friends fight the power. Unfortunately, as there is so often in Israel/Palestine, there is death. I won't spoil the plot and tell you who dies, nonetheless, I will tell you that it will make you think of the fucked up way that we humans treat each other. It is fresh to see Israelis and Palestinians working together to end the hatred that is so prevalent.

Sadly, the movie ends with even more violence and more death, but one of our protagonists, Noam, has some very poignant words for us to ponder as the movie closes. The food for thought is easy to see: can we change?

Can we change? I'd really like to think we can. God knows that there is so much in this world that we need to change. Famine, war, hatred, corruption, global warming, HIV/AIDS, the retroactive abortion of George W. Bush, etc. These are all things that need changing. Still, while we may know what needs to be changed, how do we go about affecting that change? Certainly it can't be through war. Violence breeds more violence, leading to a vicious cyclical existence of revenge for revenge. Did the characters have it right in trying to bring the current 20-something generation together to dance and enjoy each other's company? Perhaps. Yes, I'm not too naive to believe that the answer is so simple.

This reminds me of the question I had to write an essay on in order to gain admission to university. Discuss: Do you think that our schools should teach diversity (race, sex, etc)? I can't help but believe the answer is a resounding yes. You may ask, how does teaching diversity help? Well, let's put it into context.

All of you know that I was raised in the San Francisco bay area. A childhood that I would never give up. Living in the bay area during my formative years was truly an experience that taught me diversity, even in school. It was a microcosm of our planet. Nearly every race, religion, creed, sexual orientation, etc., is there for everyone to learn about, and taught to our children. As we were taught about blacks, whites, asians, hispanics, middle easterners, etc, we grew to accept them as fellow human beings, regardless of their ethnic backgrounds. The same is now taught to students about sexuality. No one sexuality is "right" for everyone. Gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, etc., we're all human beings. The more we learn about the various lives outside our "bubble" the more likely we are to learn to tolerate those lives and even love them.

A friend of mine is a white man from Mass. He's married to a Filipina. If he wasn't taught about other cultures and to respect them, do you think he would have married her? My guess is no. My brother's ex wife is a Filipina. Another of my friends is partial to hispanic lads. One of my friend married a Brazilian woman. Now he's happily married with child to another beautiful lady. If diversity weren't something we were taught or learned in school, then they'd most likely never have married, or dated the people they have. Someone else I know really likes redheads. No wait, that's me.

My point is this, perhaps we need to focus on ourselves less, and focus on the next generation and guiding them onto the path of acceptance and tolerance. Perhaps they'll be able to overcome the very problems that so many of us have perpetuated. I know it's a cliche to say our children are the future, but it's so true. What a child learns today will shape they way they act tomorrow. Perhaps teaching diversity and tolerance now will help end the violence tomorrow. For the sake of my nephew and niece I pray it does. Maybe one of them will be the future leader that can bring the world together in harmony. Maybe.

Tim Russert

2008-06-13T22:03:00.002+01:00

This afternoon a very great reporter died. He was perhaps the most well respected man in all political journalism. Tim Russert collapsed of a heart attack while at work. Paramedics were unable to revive him and he was pronounced dead.

Tim Russert is probably the one man I enjoyed listening to most. His insight into the politics of our time was so great that politicians loved meeting him each week as he hosted the long running program "Meet The Press." No other man in Washington was as astute about the workings of Washington DC.

I'm not one to quote George Bush for any reason, but today he said some great words about Tim. President Bush on Friday expressed sorrow over Russert's death and admiration for his professionalism.

"He was an institution in both news and politics for more than two decades. Tim was a tough and hardworking newsman. He was always well-informed and thorough in his interviews. And he was as gregarious off the set as he was prepared on it," Bush said in a statement Friday.

"Most important, Tim was a proud son and father, and Laura and I offer our deepest sympathies to his wife, Maureen, his son, Luke, and the entire Russert family," he said.

Tim brought me to politics. No other person made it more real to me than he did. He could see all angles of any situation and explain them so even a 2 year old could understand them. His love for the "sport" was contagious and his enthusiasm immutable. I will miss his jolly smile and the way he put everyone at ease that he interviewed.

Tim Russert died today. He was 58.

I hate Steve Jobs

2008-06-09T20:32:00.001+01:00

Bastard! Bastard! Bastard!!! I'm sitting here watching Steve Jobs at the WWDC live and he's just pissed me off.

I bought my iPhone less than 3 months ago. Dammit! I should have waited until now!!! They've done a MAJOR overhaul of the phone and made it a 3G phone with GPS, longer battery life, more apps available, etc., for 1/2 the price!!!!! WTF? I spent nearly $700 for mine (with the exchange rate), or rather my bank/insurance paid that much. In the US the iPhone will be a mere $200!! I might just have to ditch my current phone and buy the new edition when it comes out in the US and have it shipped to the UK.

Starting this year the iPhone will be available in 70 countries, not including Saudi Arabia of course.

Back to the price. The $199 price will be for the 8GB model. If you want to double the memory, then add another $100. The price will be the standard across the world. Steve said he's not allowing companies to raise the price, so no matter where in the world you are, it will still be $199 for the 8GB

BTW, if you're wondering why I seem to be a bit schizophrenic while typing this, it's because I'm watching the key note address live as I type this.

So, with the price being $199 no matter where on earth you buy it, I might as well wait for it to come out in the UK on 11 July when it's released worldwide in the first 22 countries, including all of North America, and most of Europe. I think I can afford to eat less for a month. LOL

Andy, my Andy

2008-06-06T12:20:00.002+01:00

Andy Roddick is such a hottie! I know he's straight and even a bit homophobic, but it's great to see him squirm like this. Not to mention he does have a great sense of humor. Ah, if only he would switch sides and play with my balls off the court instead of those big green ones on the court.

Racheal Ray and....well, you listen for yourself.

2008-06-04T19:12:00.001+01:00

Racheal Ray and....well, you listen for yourself.

I'm Yours

2008-06-03T18:41:00.002+01:00

David Archuletta

2008-05-22T22:03:00.002+01:00

Um, ok, the youngest American Idol contestant had done a Guitar Hero advert. I'm sorry, but anyone willing to do this has to be gay.

How about a bit of Footy?

2008-05-21T22:38:00.002+01:00

Many of you don't know that I'm a football fan. Yes, me, the fat blob of a twat is a football (that's soccer for those that don't speak English) fan. Rarely will I talk about sport. Frankly that's because I couldn't care less about who is playing or who plays for which team. Sport is the key, not players. Yes, yes, I know a team would be nothing without truly great players to help the team, but a great player is NOTHING without his or her team.

Today was the UEFA Champion League Final match. This, the first ever all England final, was held in Moscow Russia (as opposed to Moscow Idaho). Manchester United (arguably the best team in the world) versus Chelsea. Now I know I should be cheering for Chelsea as the stadium is all of 2 miles from my flat here in London, but I was rooting for Man U. Today, just as last week when they won the Barclay's Premier League against Chelsea only 10 days ago, they have proven they belong on top. Today, Manchester United has shown the world that when you work as a team no one can bring you down.

Chelsea had the chance to level the score today after a defeat on 11 May at the Barclay Premier final. Unfortunately, they just couldn't muster the strength to pull it off. Truly it didn't help when in the final minutes of the game one of the Chelsea team (Didier Drogba) was caught by the referee slapping a Man U player (Nemanja Vidic). He was immediately red carded and Manchester's odds of winning sky rocketed from 50-50 to 100%.

In a dramatic finish to the game, after 92 minutes of regular play, and 33 minutes of extra time, Manchester pulled off a beautiful victory, slaying Chelsea in penalty kicks, 6-5. United's goalie Edwin Van Dar Sar brought home the victory, snatching it from Chelsea in the final penalty kick of the game. A beautiful moment that would inspire even the most ardent of couch potatos to leap from his deep ass worn seat and cheer and scream. Van Dar Sar in a brilliant move that denied Chelsea all hopes of returning to England as champions read Anelka like a book and swatted his kick off to the far side of the goal.

Sadly, though it was an outstanding all England match, there had to be a loser. Still, Chelsea played exceptionally right to the end. Kudos are deserved for each of the players, save one. Drogba should be ashamed for letting his emotions ride high on his sleeve and finding himself red-carded in the final 3 minutes of the match. Perhaps if he had stayed level headed they could have won. Alas, it was not to be. Yet, Chelsea deserves immense praise. In all, England is the true winner tonight. Again, English football is heads and shoulders above the rest of the world, and Manchester takes home the trophy.

A tribute to the original king.

2008-05-08T00:24:00.000+01:00

Steve Martin ~ King tut

Watch the vid

2008-05-05T20:59:00.001+01:00

Back in the saddle

2008-04-25T20:21:00.016+01:00

Ok folks, there a lot to update you on since the last time I wrote. So without further adieu....

Some of you already know that I had an interview with King's College London (KCL) so I can transfer to the 3rd ranked university in the UK and in the top 10 of the world. Well, while I was in the United States for my grandmother's funeral (rest in peace Grandma), I received a message from KCL that they want me to come and study with them! You have no idea how excited I am about this! This is coup for me! A stupid American getting into what is arguably one of the best schools in the world, ranking up there with Cambridge, Oxford, Harvard, and Yale! WTF? Am I dreaming? Do they really know why they invited to come study with them? I can't help but wonder.

Second, well, I spent 3 weeks in the US visiting friends and family. It was a grand time. I enjoyed seeing all of my family, even though it wasn't under the most auspicious of occasions. While in the states I took a trip down to Monterey (Hey Ed and George) to have lunch with a couple long time friends. It was a beautiful day in Monterey. It brought back many memories of the nearly 6 years that I was stationed in Monterey for the Air Force. Monterey will always be a second home to me, but London is my home now.

The day after arriving back in London I had lunch with a gorgeous lad. Sadly he's started to see someone else. :-( C'set la vie. After he and I had lunch and he went back to work, the skies opened up and rain came down in sheets, along with hail. I was walking from lunch to Saint Paul's Cathedral and had to duck into a doorway to stay somewhat dry. Absolutely marvelous. I love the rain. It was wonderful to watch the drops come down, all the while cleaning the air and making the day a beautiful gift. After the rain let up slightly, I decided I should continue on my trek to SPC and see about doing the usual tourist crap that is on offer. While standing in the door of the cathedral I decided it wasn't for me and I took a walk down to Westminster Abbey.

I had wanted to visit the Abbey for quite some time and yesterday was my day. My lord (yes, blaspheme intended) the Abbey is truly a marvelous work and a wonder! It took more than 200 years for the Abbey to be completed, and sadly it was completed in 2 separate styles. King Henry III began building the current Abbey in 1245. Unfortunately, he ran out of money and only half of the abbey was completed. I say current abbey because Henry had the original abbey removed as the current stone abbey was built. Now, if you don't look up at the ceiling or the high walls, you'd never know that the building you're standing in was completed in 2 phases! It looks like it was all constructed at the same time, until you look at the detail. Half way into the abbey you'll see the Henry's original design and flourishments on the walls and ceiling. The remainder of the abbey is constructed without the carved stone work that adorns the ceiling and walls.

When I first encountered the Abbey in April of last year, I was noticeably disappointed by the exterior of the building. I had visions of grandeur, believing the church to be far larger than it truly appears in person. Oh how I was deceived! Once I entered the abbey I was immediately taken aback at the sheer size, scale and opulence of the interior. Photography in the Abbey is forbidden, but mobile phones are not! That said, I'm glad I had my iPhone with me. Behold the interior of Westminster Abbey!

The above photo is the entrance to the Abbey. If you're to opt for the tour, this is where it would begin. Don't ask me who is buried beneath the busts. I didn't take notice.

Notice that I'm sitting down. Because cameras aren't allowed, I had to hide the fact that I was using my iPhone to snap shots of the interior.

This next photo is of Queen Elizabeth I burial site. She is buried next to her sister Mary. It is a unique burial in the fact that Elizabeth was a Protestant and Mary was an ardent Catholic. Westminster Abbey is a Protestant church.

And at the base of the effigy is this marble stone which marks the struggle that took place in England between the Catholics and the Protestants.

Now, I only wish you could see the fine detail in the next photo, but my phone is only 2 mp camera. The chair you're about to see is none other than the coronation chair in which all monarchs of the English thrown have had the crown bestowed upon them since Edward II in 1308. The space right below the seat is a space for the enclosure of the Stone of Scone (also called the Stone of Destiny), which he had brought from Scotland in l296 and placed in the care of the Abbot of Westminster. Until the removal of the Stone to Scotland in 1996 the Chair was the oldest piece of furniture in England still used for the purpose for which it was made. When the next monarch is crowned the stone will again be brought back from Scotland to be placed in the chair .... provided that Scotland doesn't secede from the union by then.

When I say that I wish you could see the detail of the chair, it isn't for its beauty. First and foremost, the Abbey is a religious school and has been for ages and ages. In the back of the chair there is graffiti! The children who have attended the Abbey over the last 700 years have carved their initials and names in the chair! Now the chair is placed out of reach of all who enter the abbey in order to protect it from those who would do damage to it. You have to admit, for being 700 years old, that chair is standing up amazingly well! God forbid there ever be a fat monarch's coronation or the chair will crumble under his/her weight.

Unfortunately, I can't show you the rest of the photos from inside the church. They came out entirely too dark to post. So, to make up for that fact, here are some exterior photos.

The above photos were taken immediately outside of the cloister in the Abbey College grounds. The day turned out to be a gorgeous post rainy day.

How many of you have seen the movie "The Da Vinci Code"? Do you remember the celluloid butchering of the book? You do? Good. Do you remember the scene with Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou in the abbey where Tom is standing staring at the effigy to Sir Issac Newton trying to figure out what orb with rosy flesh is missing from it? BEHOLD!

That's right, the left side of the photo is the same piece you'll see in the movie. Ok, not really the same piece. The Abbey doesn't let people film inside it, so Ron Howard had to have the piece recreated for the movie. He had an exact replica made for the film. Interesting to see the real deal. The tour I took allowed us to walk right up to it and see the minute detail. It was truly astounding.

As many of you will know, I'm not a very religious person. In fact, over the last 3+ weeks I've attended church more times than I have in the last 3 years. My gran's funeral, and yesterday when I decided to stay for Evensong at the Abbey.

While I know that most of religion in just crazy bat shit, I couldn't help but be moved by the service. The choir was angelic. Of course it is comprised of mostly pre-teen eunuch boys (just kidding) and older paedophiles. Still the music was stirring and the service was the first in my lifetime that I've been to that did NOT preach! Yes, you read that correctly! Evensong at the Abbey is merely a service for singing and reading from the inerrant word of "god," the bible. There are no ministers to preach or give a sermon. It's the kind of service that everyone can love!

Well, that's all for now. I hope you've enjoyed. If you have, leave a comment. If you haven't, piss off! (Just kidding)

It all makes sense

2008-03-03T00:55:00.002Z

I heard a great little statement again today. It comes from an autobiographical story about a gay ex-Mormon who served a mission in Los Angeles. It's a nice little sentiment that I like to think is true. I can't quote it verbatim, but here's the gist.

Do you read the Sunday Comics? When I was a kid I used to put my face up close to them and I was amazed at the mass of dots. I like to think that from god's perspective it's not just dots. We're all connected. It's beautiful and funny....and it's good. From up close we can't expect it to make sense right now.

I think that's more true than we probably realize. We can't see the bigger picture in life, and because of that everything looks like a mass of dots. Yet, as we get older, and hopefully wiser, the dots make a picture and start to make sense. It really is beautiful. And it definitely is good. No matter what happens to us on a day-to-day basis, it's only a dot in the bigger picture. It's the be all, end all. It's only a dot.

From time to time we need to step back and look at the bigger picture, and remember it is truly beautiful.

Music

2008-02-26T03:34:00.000Z

This is great. I guess it's shirt. I think I'll buy it.

Next Stop, Super Tuesday!

2008-02-01T04:20:00.000Z

The democrats have finished the final debate before Super Duper Tsunami Megaquake Hurricane Armageddon Tuesday. Here in England I don't have the luxury of watching the debates by CNN on TV so I have to watch it online. Like last night, I chose to watch the live feed with of the debate with undecideds weighing in real-time. CNN gathered a group of undecided voters and placed them in a room with an electronic monitor to see how they felt about what was being said at the moment. The scale was from 0 - 100, 100 being best possible. I was a bit surprised to see by what the feed showed!

After last week's routing By Barack Obama of Hillary Clinton I expected to see the numbers swinging widely in his favor. Instead, what I saw was exactly the opposite. Hillary was consistently in the 80s on nearly every topic that was brought up, while Barack was in the 40-50s. A few times Obama managed to squeak into the 70s, but for the most part he stayed static around 53%. That's not good for the man who somehow trounced Hillary in South Carolina and Iowa. On the other hand, Hillary was frequently in the 90s for many topic (Bill's record as president, her record on health care, her fight for disabled children, etc), yet there were a couple of times when she dropped as low as 51 or 2 (her vote on the Iraq war).

The media has a nasty habit of trying to be the king maker. Notice the early days of the campaign when Hillary was considered "President-elect" Clinton, then after Iowa when Barack shocked the nation he was the man. Yet consistantly the media has had to eat crow and re-crown a new king/queen. New Hampshire made a queen, South Carolina a king, Florida (which yet again is disenfranchised) a queen, etc.

Will Super Tuesday make this election anymore clear? I hope so.

To close this off, here is the opinion of a man I like. He posted this on the net right after the debate. He's seldom been wrong. Here's hoping he isn't wrong this time. Oh, and if you want another group's opinion, check out http://www.centerforpolitics.org/crystalball/ for a rather insightful look into this election. (Thanks Chris for the link!)

January 31, 2008

Schneider: The bottom line

Posted: 11:00 PM ET

The audience response was the same as that of Democrats across the country: they’re happy with their choice this year, but they don’t want to have to make it.

I thought overall, his position tonight was still that of the challenger, and she was effectively the incumbent. Barack Obama needed to peel votes away from Clinton. He made some progress on the Iraq issue. But how many Democrats are still more concerned about Iraq than about anything else?

To the extent that the debate was a draw, it helps Clinton.

Why? Because holding his own wasn’t enough. Obama’s task tonight was to make the case that there were huge differences between them. Just holding his own and looking presidential was not enough — he had to convince Democrats who like her that there’s a reason she shouldn’t be the party’s nominee.

He clearly had command on the issue of Iraq. Six months ago that would have been enough. Now? I’m not so sure. It took a while for the issue to take center stage tonight, and that’s no accident: Other concerns have come to the forefront.

In all, it was an unhelpful debate. They minimized their differences. Tonight’s showdown will rally Democrats, no question – but won’t help them make a decision. The biggest applause line of the evening came for the idea of the two of them together.

The debate doesn’t kill momentum for either one. But does it help build any? His strong showing could very well help Obama. But how much — enough to overtake Clinton? I just didn’t see that.

– CNN Senior Political Analyst Bill Schneider

Bill is back!! (Double Entendre)

2008-01-25T04:23:00.001Z

Bill is back! That's right folks, Bill Maher's show on HBO "Real Time with Bill Maher" is back for another season. Unfortunately, due to the writers strike that's currently plaguing television (like I know here in London, fuck off! LOL) Bill is not doing New Rules. So, in the absence of writers, I'll be posting his opening remarks to the shows until the day when peace will reign once again in Hollywood, and the writers are sated (hahaha, another SAT word pops up in my blog) and Bill can go back to providing us with more wisdom.

So, without further adieu............

Ok, I lied. I want to say one thing before I let you watch. I like what Bill says the last guy he talks to in the video clip from the mall. Considering who he's talking with, he's lucky he's still alive! LOL

Gay Wisdom

2008-01-21T16:57:00.000Z

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in sick to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer."
~ Robin Tyler

I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother.
~ Charles Pierce

"Dear Abby," In response to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood. 'You could move.'
~ Abigail Van Buren.

The one bonus of not lifting the ban on gays in the military is that the next time the government mandates a draft, we can all declare we are homosexual instead of running off to Canada.
~ Lorne Bloch

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"
~ Jon Stewart

My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share.
~ Rita Mae Brown

Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons.
~ Letter to the Editor, The Advocate

You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.
~ Barry Goldwater

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?
~ Ernest Gaines

My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.
~ W. Somerset Maugham

Drag is when a man wears everything a lesbian won't.
~ Author Unknown

If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic."
~ Shelly Roberts

My mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen because she thought I was a latent homosexual. There was nothing latent about it.
~ Amanda Bearse

It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain....
~ Francis Maude

The only queer people are those who don't love anybody....
~ Rita Mae Brown

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
~ Lynn Lavner

If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered.
~Robin Tyler

Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a secret when our co-workers ask us about our weekend. "I had a great time with... them."
Great! Now they don't think you're queer - just a big slut!
~Judy Carter

I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, "Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?" I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: "Why don't we have a Kid's
Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's Day?" My mom would always say, "Every day is Kid's Day." To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?
--Adam Rowland

Double Entendre

2008-01-20T18:24:00.000Z

Here are 12 of the finest double-entendres that were aired on
TV & Radio

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters - "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

LNAT

2007-12-07T20:25:00.000Z

Today I took the LNAT (England's equivalent to the LSAT) so I can transfer to a different campus. Oh my god, this was the hardest test I've ever taken in my life, and there were only 30 questions!

Now, I've taken the DLAB, the DLPT, SAT, etc, but those were child's play compared to this. At DLI they say that English is one of the hardest languages in the world to learn. It's rated a category 5 out of 5. They also say that in America, roughly 95% of the population can only speak English with the proficiency of a level 3, meaning not college graduate material. This test I took today was about a level 4 - 4.5. I can't imagine how anyone could ever gain a sufficient score to ever be admitted to law school!

The LNAT is only 30 questions. The LSAT is 120 - 130 questions and grades out of 180. 180 is the best score, 120 is the worst. The LNAT, yeah, not so much. It's not a standardized test, so whatever score you earned is the score you get.

In addition to the 30 multiple choice questions, there is a requirement of 2 essay questions. These are not scored, but used by the university to rate your reasoning skills. The essay portion gives you the opportunity to choose 2 of 5 questions to answer, and answers must be between 500-600 words long with a maximum of 750 words. My first question was incredibly well reasoned out and worded. I had the fortune of my first topic being teaching tolerance towards religion and sexual minorities in school. My second essay topic was similarly easy, but my time ran out with only 1/5 of the test completed. Unfortunately, I ran out of time because of my first essay. I took far too long in organizing the essay without monitoring the clock. One could say it was poor time management. I'm sure the admissions offices will take the fact that I was so poor at managing my time into consideration and probably give me a lower overall "score."

But, it's all done and I can breath a sigh of relief. I find out my score on the truly scored section on 15 Jan. Shortly after that, I expect to start hearing from the universities. I'll keep my fingers crossed that I make it into UCL (University College London) as my first choice, then King's College as my second. BTW, they're both part of the University of London system. Too bad the school doesn't just have one requirement for all campuses. That would make things so much easier when applying.

Death-nail for Rudy?

2007-11-07T21:59:00.000Z

Many of you will know that last week Pat Robertson endorsed Rudy Giuliani for President of the United States. I remember the last person Pat Robertson endorsed for President. Unfortunately, that person was George W. Bush.

With the increased disatisfaction with Republicans and the religious right (which really isn't) I'm not sure that America is ready for another evangelical in the Oval Office. And lord knows we don't want the person Pat Robertson endorses. For crying out loud, the man is a multi-time presidential campaign loser himself, and is known for being the worst thing to come to the Christians since that other hate mongering twat who died a few months ago, Jerry Falwell.

I'm not really a republican supporter, as you may well have guessed, but I do enjoy politics and strategic planning. If I were Rudy Giuliani, and praise be to (insert diety here) I'm not, I would RUN, no walk, as fast as I could, away from Pat Robertson and his 700 Club members. I would NEVER accept and endorsement from an evangelical during a presidential race. This is one case where I would be willing to stand on my own two feet and fail on my own. Were I a conservative, in the era or error of George W. Bush, I would stand for election solely on my conservative beliefs and record in leadership, not on what evangelicals want me to pretend to be. Sorry, but I just couldn't allow myself to accept their endorsement because of the payout that would be expected by evangelicals.

While it may be imprudent to distance myself from the evangelical community, I would rather stand on my own and embrace a wider audience than the so-called "moral majority." Rudy has a reputation for being a mavrick when it comes to politics. He's a fiscal conservative with liberal social tendencies. He's sort of the modern day John McCain. Unfortunately, by accepting the endorsement of Pat Robertson and his followers, Rudy is setting himself up for a terrible let down when the Christian coalition comes knocking on the door of the White House asking for say, a bill to ban abortions (which Rudy supports). It puts him in conflict with the social liberal side he has based his career on. In my most humble opinion, it would be better for Rudy to say "Thanks, but no thanks."

Will he be beholden to the Christian evangelical community if he wins the race? Yes. Is America fed up with the religious (not-so) right interfering in politics? Yes. I think this is the death-nail for Rudy. If he gains the nomination from the Republican party we're going to have a woman as president. Thank God for that!

Questions for the Audience (that's you!) Answer 1

2007-11-07T21:42:00.001Z

Regarding gym guys that smoke, I think the answer is pretty simple. Smokers generally smoke for one of two reasons - a vice or a reward. In other words, they derive pleasure from the 'buzz' or fix (vice) or they enjoy the social reward (a smoke after a hard workout or a long day).

The reason that it's easy to infiltrate your body with deadly chemicals is simple - the cause-and-effect takes years to come to roost. Their bodies will remain rock-hard and in shape day after day (well, for true gym guys). They can see the reward of their efforts. They gain pleasure every day from being in shape, being admired, being desired, etc.

Smoking, however, will not have a negative effect (generally) for years to come. If after smoking for a few months, say, you suddenly had yellow fingernails, bags under your eyes and 'smoker's cough' - most gym boys would realize it is not worth the effect on their bodies.

Since (for the most part), these negative consequences are in some far, distant future (when, ostensibly, they are old and decrepit), it's easy to 'play now, pay later.'

Finally, let's not pretend the gay boys at the gym are into some holistic idea of their bodies. They want to be in shape for sex appeal and physical prowess. We can say the same thing for food that we do smoking. Even without fast food, the American diet is basically processed and bad for you. We don't see gym guys becoming vegetarians, eating only whole grains and fruits and treating their body like a temple.

And who are we all to judge - I like to eat healthy and have rarely turned down a filet mignon or delicious piece of pizza. Does this mean I hate my internal body? Of course not, life is meant to be enjoyed, and longevity is not the only determining factor in quality of life.

In other words, you can derive pleasure from a sexy, in-shape body and still derive pleasure from a vice such as eating junk food, drinking alcohol, and yes, smoking.

You'll excuse me now, I have an appointment with a very dry martini!

Questions for the Audience (that's you!)

2007-11-07T03:29:00.000Z

I want to try something a wee bit different today. I have a question for you all, and I'd like to see if you can answer it and explain it to me. I'll post the reponses that I get (deleting identification information). I want to see what you all think about this.

Today's question is this: Why do people who go to the gym and work so hard on their bodies to stay in shape and look like gods smoke? Why work out so much to look good on the outside, when you're killing yourself from inside? Why bother?

There you go. That's the question. The ball is in your court. C'mon my faithful minyan, don't let me down!

News from the Isles

2007-11-04T04:15:00.001Z

It's been a few weeks since I actually posted a blog, and as I told my friend Josh earlier today, it's time for me to get back to it and get something written.

Yesterday I went to the British Museum. My lord! That place is amazing! I've never seen so much f-ing history in my life! It's incredible to see the amount of artifacts that the British have stolen from other civilizations over the years. Here are some of the things that I saw. Be aware that the British Museum is one of the premier attractions in London so it's quite full of people. It was almost impossible to take a photo without someone being in it that I didn't know. None of the people in the photos are of anyone in particular....it's the artifact that I'm taking a picture of. And finally, many of the photos are sideways. That's because of the size of the object I was taking a photo of. I simply had to rotate my camera to fit the object in or I'd be standing back dozens of feet and there would be hundreds (not really exaggerating on that) of people in the photo. Click on any photo to see a larger version of it. That said.......

First up, was one of the greatest discoveries to date. The Rosetta Stone. Oh my god! It's HUGE! I think it's something like 1.2m in height. That's almost the hight of the average man, and it weighs nearly 10 - 15 times the average man, at a nice 1,600 pounds. The stone is written in 3 languages, and was probably made sometime after Alexander the Great conquered Egypt since it contains Greek as one of the languages. It is estimated that there were 14 stones of equal size with the exact same inscriptption spread throughout the land of Egypt. Unfortunately, this is the only one that remains.

Next is a small sphinx. It's in black marble and probably weighs about 200 pounds. It doens't look that great in the photo, but the detail on it is absolutely amazing.

We'll come back to Egypt later. Next I want to visit Greece. First stop, the Parthenon. Am I mistaken in thinking the Parthenon was destroyed centuries ago? No? Oh, that's because it's IN the British Museum! (Don't send me messages that this isn't the real Parthenon, I know it's not)

Just to the left of this magnificent structure is a room the full size of the Parthenon. Its walls are completely covered by the stone artworks that the Greeks had used to form the walls of the Parthenon. I half expected some homo-erotic art, but it seemed to be all about horses that looked like they were mounting eachother. Gay? Well, the Greeks were a bit light in the sandles.

Here is a beautiful copper sculpture of a naked man. You know, I used to feel a bit put out that nature had given me a small penis, but after looking at the statues that the Greeks produced, I realized I'm actually much bigger than I thought! I would have been a GOD to the ancient Greeks! LOL

At first I thought this was a woman standing with her arm gently laying on a lyre. It wasn't until I took the photo that I realized, she has a penis. Oops, my bad!

Here's a woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Ok, let's hop back across the Mediterranean to the land of the pharaohs.

I wonder who was burried in this little ditty. His name must have been "Please Do Not Touch The Objects" judging by the plaque below his head.

I guess size mattered to the ancient Egyptians. Everything that's in the British Museum is HUGE!

Heck, even their bugs were HUGE! Can you imagine the fly swatter you'd need to kill this mother?

Then again, maybe it's the British that are consumed with size. Let's jet off to a far away isle named after a holiday. Yes, that's right folks, we're off to Easter Island! No, this is not a joke. The photo below is really a famous Rapa Nui from Easter Island. I think this does prove the British preoccupation with size.

The only problem I have with the Rapa Nui being on display is the fact he/she is on a pedestal. Let's think about this for a sec, a HUGE multi-ton piece of stone on a pedastal in a place that millions of people walk by each year. Danger of tipping over, maybe? Rapa Nui's revenge!

Oh, so now that we're in South America, I thought I'd show you that they had crotch rot even back when they didn't wear clothes! This poor guy has it bad too. When I saw it, my childish side couldn't help but rear it's head in the middle of the museum. I started to laugh and the Asian chap next to me looked at me rather incredulously. I guess it's because he didn't know my intent was to post the photo on the web.

Now this next photo is kind of creepy. It's called "Cradle to Grave." It's two 20m long pieces of nylon fabric side by side with medications in them. Each fabric follows the birth to the death of one person and all the medications he/she had to take throughout their life. It is supposed to show a representation of the more than 17000 pills the average person will take during their lifetime. Thank god big pharma will be there to make sure we all have those pills to take.

Ok, I think that about does it for now. I have more photos to share, but I don't want to make this blog too big. I'll add more in the next couple days.

Until next time remember, "A Scotsman is never so drunk to fall off the face of the earth as long as he can still hold on to a single blade of grass."

New Rules November 2nd 2007

2007-11-04T00:45:00.000Z

New Rules!

2007-11-01T02:44:00.000Z

From now on I'll be posting the "New Rules" aired on Real Time with Bill Maher each week. Enjoy!

Band of Brothers

2007-10-19T23:21:00.000+01:00

Many of you have seen the mini-series "Band of Brothers" which takes its name from Shakespeare's Henry V; Act IV, scene iii:

And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

Perhaps one of the greatest military epic stories ever told, Band of Brothers shows the true story of Easy Company during World War II. Many of you have family that served in World War II. I count myself in that group of blessed and honoured people. My grandfather was part of the liberating forces of France. He was wounded twice by Germans.

Here in England, National Geographic Channel is showing the complete unedited mini-series. I've been watching it again, for perhaps the 3rd or 4th time. Though I know it's merely a retelling of the events, each time I see what the men of Easy Co. went though in an effort to stop Hitler I can't help but well up, and after some episodes fully sob.

I could try to make some lame comparison to today's men and women serving in yet another war, but I won't. There can be nothing that compare to what those men did. It is no wonder they are called the greatest generation.

If you haven't seen the series, take some time and go down to your local video store and rent it. Take a few hours of your day and watch what the men of Easy Co. went through. I'm sure you will join me in sobbing and thank your grandparents for their sacrifice.

Life in Stereo

2007-09-28T22:44:00.000+01:00

I've been meaning to type this up for my loyal fans, but I've just been too f*cking lazy to do it.

WOW! Have you ever listened to a really good song with headphones on and heard the spacial orientation of the instruments and the singer, etc? OMG, you potheads will know what I'm talking about.

It is only recently that I truly began to understand and appreciate stereo! I don't mean that object that sits on a shelf somewhere in your house, or in the dashboard of your car. I mean real stereo. The kind that can only truly be experienced while listening to music with a good, high quality pair of headphones on. My personal choice is V-Moda. They're about £50/$100 and they kick ass!!

After you break in the headphones (V-Moda) they have this wonderful quality about them that captures every little nuance of the music. I was listening to Nina Simone and it struck me like a Mac truck. I could hear every instrument individually, the flute, the 3 guitars, piano, harp, drums, etc., where they were in the recording studio, each move that Nina made around the microphone, each subtle note. I was blown away!! I quickly searched for more songs on my iPod that would allow me to experience this wonderful feeling. I found more, and each time was just as brilliant as the first. Each of the older songs I had on my iPod sounded so clear and real. Sadly, the newer songs did not.

I'm not sure what it is about today's "modern" music, but I just don't get the same sense of space I do from songs of the 50's, 60's and 70's. It's sad really. We're losing out on such a great sensory acuity. Today's music is mechanical and sythesized. There's nearly nothing real about it anymore. Every instrument comes through each speaker with only minor variances in time and space, giving what can only be half-heartedly called stereo.

Supposedly our lives are easier and much better than they were yesteryear, but this is one of those cases where I would say it's better to be stuck in the 70's than to be in the 00's (or whatever the term is for this decade). We guppies are losing out on something our parents had and cherrished. They knew what music really was, and how it should be listened to. Now we have these suits in charge of the corporate machines churning out song after shitty song looking for the one song that will make them money, rather than taking the time to invest in talent and make REAL music. I'm not saying that all of the so called artists today are shite, but the vast majority of them are. They're canned, cookie cutter images of something that worked once and that the recording industry is hopeful will somehow come back into vogue. Why do you think rap is making it big? These guys are true artists. I'm not supporting them, god knows I hate rap, but they seem to be the only people out there that have anything new and exciting to offer.

Anyway, if you haven't experienced the wonders of stereo in your own private space, I highly suggest you get a really good set of headphones and download, or if you're still able to cuz you're old school, buy the vinyl. Listen to a good song and experience that wonderful feeling if being right in the studio with the artist as they sing, wail, and generally produce some of the greatest aural sensation you'll ever have the joy of hearing. Or you could just smoke a fat one and let your mind do the sound mixing for you.

Cheers!

Strike One!

2007-09-25T00:57:00.000+01:00

This morning a friend asked me why I haven't posted lately. Good question. To be honest, I've been a tad busy with reading my books for class. I want to get ahead of the game since I know it's going to be, to borrow a phrase, "a long, hard slog." (Thanks Big Don, I knew you're years as SecDef weren't for naught.) After that tedious explanation, let's catch up.

Tomorrow, 25 September, was SUPPOSED to be my first day at law school. Notice the key verb there...3rd person singular preterite (that means past tense for those who don't know) of the verb to be. (Um, yeah, I know I'm a nerd. Deal with it.) After struggling to get someone at the university to tell me my schedule of classes I finally had enough and called the direct line to their office. The moron on the other end of the phone was a complete tool. I'm sure he mush be a budding young President Bush with his "C-" average. I explained to the guy that I had been waiting for a couple weeks to know what my schedule is and what books I needed for class. I'm sure I could smell the smoke coming out of his ears as he tried to process the statement I had just made and figure out what to do. Sadly, not everyone should go to university, it truly is just a waste of resources.

After what seemed to be hours due to the uneasy paul as he tried to wake up the hamster in his cranium, our future world leader finally said that class wouldn't start until 1 October. After a few more seconds of deafening silence, the lad, who I'll now call Mr. President, said someone would call me to explain. I asked Mr. President to take down my phone number so whomever he was going to have call me back, could indeed, call me back. Mr. President said that they had my phone number, which shocked me since I hadn't even given it to him and my phone blocks my caller id. After some witty wit and repartee he realized that he did not have my number and took it down. I can honestly say I don't think I'll be getting that call by Friday and I'll then have to call and pull some twat's head through the phone line.

So, I now have another week of sitting around and jack'n off while watching the Hitler, er, History Channel. I'm so f*cking poor that I can't justify even taking the Tube around the city to do anything. I really dislike the fool who is sitting in the Oval Office right now. If we had someone like Al Gore there we'd have a hell of a lot stronger dollar right now. Instead, the dollar is at a low compared to the Canadian Dollar (they're at parity for the first time since the 1960s) which is a severe barometer of the strength of the US economy.

Anyway, so that's what I've been up to. I know this is a rather abrupt ending, but I'm tired and don't think I can keep this coherent any longer. Peace out!

School to commense

2007-09-17T19:11:00.000+01:00

Today I received my text books. There are 14 books, more than 10000 pages, I'll have to read and memorize and assimilate by the time testing come around next year. WTF have I gotten myself into? Am I really ready for this?

Oh, and there's another thing. I need a new computer. Yes, that's right, I need a new computer. Along with the books came a CD that is only compatable with PC. WTF? Why aren't school making their material compatable with Mac? After all, Mac is the better platform for students, and it can do sooooooo much more than a PC can. You'd really think that a university would want to make their software compatable with all platforms, right?

So, here I am with hat in hand looking for assistance. The VA hasn't authorized my program yet, and I'm up shite creek without a paddle when it comes to purchasing a new laptop. If you're feeling generous, I'd really appreciate your assistance. I need to raise $2800 in order to purchase a new laptop (I say laptop because my flat isn't big enough to support a desktop) that will be compatable with the software that the university has provided. If you'll recall, the current exchange rate is appalling. That is why I am asking for so much assistance. The cost of the sytem I need is £1,346.55 + 17.5% VAT (tax), though to be perfectly honest, I think the VAT is included in the price. The computer company was magnanimous in offering "free" shipping, so I don't have to pay for that.

If you think you can, or would like to help, please let me know. I appreciate your assistance!

Teddy

Oh, so you know what the current exchange rate is, I've added a link to XE.com at the upper right of this blog above the Google Ad. XE is the most accurate exchange rate site available with updates every minute.

Human Traffic

2007-09-17T02:40:00.000+01:00

I just watched a movie that I purchased more than 2 years ago and until today had never watched! O M G! It was chalk full of humour, drugs, sex, music, and basically life in the United Kingdom! If you haven't seen the movie Human Traffic, I highly suggest you go to Blockbuster, Hastings, or whichever company you rent your DVDs from and rent it. This is the UK's answer to Jay and Silent Bob.

A quick run down on what happens in the flick:

Jipp, our sexually frustrated leading man, is going nuts because he can't seem to keep it up when he's with a girl and he thinks he's cursed for the rest of his life to be celibate. He and his friends get together on the start of the weekend (of course a Friday) and start off with a pint or two or three dozen before heading off to a kick-ass dance club in Cardiff (the capitol of Wales) where they then proceed to get stoned out of their minds on E, coke, and a series of other drugs I can't even begin to fathom.

After the club closes down they then head off to an after-party at some ritzy home where they dance, proceed to ponder the meaning of life, and then do more drugs and alcohol. At the end of the party, which is now Sunday, they drive back home while coming down from their ecstasy/coke/pot enduced high and then pair off and shag like weasles! Jipp hooks up with his best mate who he has been friends with for only god knows how long, and they break each other's spell of sex that isn't. And, in my opinion, what has to be the best last line of a film: "I'm gonna f*ck your brains out!"

Now, you've basically just seen the movie, but there's sooooooooo much more to it than that. Of course some parts a bit hard to understand since they're speaking in really sour Cockney accents, and they're speaking in a slang that just doesn't make sense to, oh let's say...THE REST OF THE WORLD! But once you get used to the accents you catch on pretty quick to what's being said and it's f*cking hilarious! There is slang in the movie that I'm only beginning to learn, and stuff that I've never heard before, but you'll get the gist of it when you hear it. Things like, "I'm off my trumpet" meaning "I'm out of my mind" to those of us NOT from the UK. And of course there are references to television programmes/movies that we just don't get in the US, but they're perfect for the movie nonetheless.

So, with that ringing endorsement, you simply MUST go rent "Human Traffic" and watch it. Have a couple of drinks before you start, while you're watching, and if you feel like it, have a talk with Frank. Watch the first couple of minutes to get used to the accents then start the movie over again and go from there. You'll enjoy it just as much as I have, I'm sure.

Cheers!

5700 troops to come home by Xmas

2007-09-14T03:22:00.000+01:00

"In a televised speech to the nation, Bush said he would reduce U.S. force strength by 5,700 troops by Christmas and, by next July, reduce the number of combat brigades from 20 to 15, a decrease of roughly 30,000 troops." (cnn.com)

Don't get me wrong, I fully support a troop reduction from Iraq, BUT....Hey, Dumbass, er, Mr. President thanks for offering to bring home 5700 troops by Christmas like it's a jesture of good-will to the world. Um, all you're doing Numbnuts, is promising not to send the already scheduled replacements for those men and women. AND, It's not like those token 5700 troops weren't already coming home by Christmas, so don't try to make it look like you're the good guy here.

ALLAH, JESUS CHRIST, VISHNU, SHIVA, etc, since I am an equal oportunity offender of religion, I can't believe that America elected this twat! I'm still reeling from the fact that a low C-average college CHEERLEADER (um, can we say "gay" anyone?) can still be elected PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! And he was elected after 5 people dressed in black nightgowns treasonously ruled that he was the winner of the election in 2000. F*CK!!! (BTW, before you all decide that I'm calling the members of the Supreme Court traitors THIS is the definition of treason: η - the act or fact of violating the trust or confidence of another, the act of betraying someone or something....to which I say they did by not allowing the full recount, but that's neither here nor there....well, actually it isn't)[digression, sorry] Lately I've been hearing more and more people come out and call a spade a spade. Senator Mike Gravel called Bush a "mental midget." I'm sorry, but that's just some funny shit! Senator, you can do better than that! Watch how Jon Stewart did it.

You may have noticed a guy on the screen behind Jon and recall him saying something about the pentagon loosing Bleu, well, his name is Bleu Copas. Bleu and I were in the same Arabic class at DLI. We were friends. He went on to be a linguist and was "mission critical" because of his extremely valuable skills in Arabic. He was kicked out the Army for being gay. Here's Bleu. He's far more elloquent than I.

Here's another soldier I had the privilage to work with in the military. He too was in class with Bleu and me. Joshua Casteel went on to serve at Abu Ghraib. He was an interrogator. Here's his story.

God, I can't believe Bush is President of the United States! Bring our men and women home now.

Yesterday...

2007-09-13T01:46:00.001+01:00

Yesterday you'll note that I said I know why I've been sick. I've been missing "Real Time with Bill Maher" on HBO. Today, after listening to the podcast, I've noticed I'm smiling! I'm actually smiling! And we all know that positive thinking helps with the immune system.

Of course, it could be the fact I'm on antibiotics thats making me feel better, but after saying I believe there is a god yesterday for posting "Real Time with Bill Maher" on the internet I'll stick with that. We know that's not true, but since this is a cyberspace blog we'll pretend it is.

Speaking of god, will someone please explain this atricle to me? http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/09/12/ahmadinejad.itn/index.html

If you truly believe in god, how can you say there should be peace and love for everyone, but oh, not you jews. You can't exist and we must do everything we can to exterminate you from the face of the earth. Huh? What the hell kind of thinking is this? Oooooohhhh, it's religion!!! I get it. It's just sheer stupidity in general! Jesus Christ! Someone please smack these people (those who think others should be wiped off the face of the earth for being of a different religion) and point out to them that ALL religions are founded on peace and love for EVERYONE, not just Christians, Muslims, Jews, Sihks, Hindus, Buddhist (that would be me), etc. We all should accept each other and learn to love one another for our differences. Hate is outdated so let's get rid of it.

I know...

2007-09-12T02:00:00.000+01:00

AHA! I know why I've been sick! I've been suffering from withdrawls (the preverbial DTs) of not being able to watch "Real Time with Bill Maher"!!! I haven't been getting my weekly dose of common sense politics and Bush bashing. As Al Frankin's book title says, "The Truth (with Jokes)." Man, I need to get HBO here!

So, at 2am today it hit me, why not check to see if Apple iTunes carries the show? FUCK, they don't have it for sale like almost all the other television shows known to mankind. DAMN DAMN DAMN!!! Imagine how sad I am to know that I can't even pay $1.99 each week to watch the show on my small screen. BUT WAIT! Perhaps I can at least listen to the show. Is there a podcast version of it perhaps?

YYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!! And it's available on iTunes for FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ed, this proves there really must be a god!

But if you act now that's not all you'll get. Subscribe to the podcast and you'll also get the aftershow called "Real Time Overtime," and you could even get rehersal audio and alternate commentary from Bill himself! That's right folks, it's almost too good to be true!

I BELIEVE NOW, I REALLY BELIEVE!! PRAISE HIM, PRAISE HIM, PRAISE HIM!

(about the photos - they all belong to HBO and I am not being paid to post them on my blog. HBO is completely ignorant of the fact I have posted them. Let's hope it stays that way.)

Humour in Thought

2007-09-11T05:53:00.000+01:00

What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vender?

Make me one with everything.

Bore-dumb (yes, I know it's spelled wrong) and Rambling

2007-09-07T02:41:00.000+01:00

It's 2:45 in the morning here in London and I'm bored out of my mind. I've been sick for the last week or so and I've only dared venture out into the world once or twice to get the essentials so I won't die. It's now to the point that I have nothing to look forward to falling asleep and dream about since I've spent a vast majority of the time in my flat sleeping!

Friday, 7 September, 18 days until courses are scheduled to start. With all this time on my hands I can't help but let my mind wander and think. Over and over and over......you get the picture.....things keep running through the vacant space I used to call a brain. What the hell have I gotten myself into? Am I really ready to buckle down and spend the next 3 years studying and then another year afterwards working to be admitted to the bar to practice law? I know the answer, but I can't help letting doubt nudge his ugly little head into my thoughts. I'm spending a lot of time playing 'Wack-a-mole' with my mind and doubt right now. "You've made a mistake." WACK! "You're not good enough." WACK WACK! "You're wasting time and money and you're going to disappoint all your friends and family back in the US. Muahahahahahah!" Yeah? Well, WACK, fuck, WACK, you, WACK, and you're ability to cause apprehension in my mind! Fuck you very much! WACK! WACK! WACK!

Granted, I'm sure a lot of my feelings stem from the fact I've been cooped up sicker than a dog in a tiny little "apartment" the size of a shoe box in the closet of most women! Once I have to start going out into the city everyday to attend classes and get edjumacated I'll be much happier, but right now I'm just fucking going insane!!

Oh, and to top it off, I know I need to see a doctor, but each time I make plans to go ahead and go down to the local doctor, who by the way is only 1 block away from my flat, I feel better! Then once I start to think I'm ok and decide that I no longer need to see the doctor my body does a little revolt and decides that I'm a complete twat and should be punished severely. Stress and the weather here have been a great cause of this wonderful happening. Atypical to England, it's now 3am and right now I swear it's about 80º in my room. Since the Brits don't believe in Air Conditioning unless you're paying for a hotel I now have my window open to I can get some cool air in here, but it's just NOT helping!

There's a song that keeps running through my wee little mind. It's very apropos (yeah, check that spelling bitches) right now in this situation. Jimmy Buffett did a little ditty about expats called "Banana Republic." It goes something like this:

Down to the Banana Republics, down to the tropical sun
Go the expatriated Americans, hopin' to find some fun
Some of them go for the sailing, caught by the lure of the sea
Tryin' to find what is ailing, livin' in the land of the free

Some of them are running from lovers, leaving no forwarding address
Some of them are running tons of ganja
Some are running from the I.R.S.

Chorus:
Late at night you will find them
In the cheap hotels and bars
Hustling the senioritas while they dance beneath the stars
Spending those renegade pesos on a bottle of rum and a lime
Singin' give me some words I can dance to
Or a melody that rhymes

First you learn the native customs
soon a word of Spanish or two
You know that you cannot trust them
'Cause they know they can't trust you
Expatriated Americans feelin' so all alone
Telling themselves the same lies
That they told themselves back home

Down to the Banana Republics, things aren't as warm as they seem
None of the natives are buying any second-hand American dreams

Chorus:
Late at night you will find them
In the cheap hotels and bars
Hustling the senioritas while they dance beneath the stars
Spending those renegade pesos on a bottle of rum and a lime
Singin' give me some words I can dance to
Or a melody that rhymes

Down to the Banana Republics, down to the tropical sun
Go the expatriated Americans hopin' to find some fun

Ok, so it's not exactly my case, but it's pretty damned close! Ok, maybe not, I don't run or do ganja, and I'm not trying to evade the IRS. However, I'm living in my own little BR (that's shorthand for Banana Republic) where I was installed President of my own shoebox country and it's teetering on a very thin line, with only the slightest little wind will cause it to collapse. Nobody sneeze! If you must breathe, please, please do it very slowly and don't make any sudden motions.

Digression is a wonderful thing.

So, it's now 3:30 and I'm still not even remotely sleepy, but my eyes are hurting screaming at me that they'll make me blind if I don't lay my head down and give them a rest for what remains of the night. The smell of mutiny is in the air! Where's Captain Bligh when you need him?

Ok folks, I think I'll relent and give my tired eyes a break for now. However, you can rest assured they'll pay for this transgression. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow, but they'll pay. Oh yes, they'll pay!

Oh yeah, if you feel like helping to support me financially, please let me know. I'm happy to accept cash, checks, coinage, etc. The exchange rate here SUCKS BIG DONKEY DICK! As I write this the £ to $ is $2.029 for £1. What the fuck? Is the queen getting some sort of kickback? Why the hell is the dollar in the shitter?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the thought for the week.

Man who go through turnstile sideways at airport going to Bangkok.

Lion

2007-09-04T19:12:00.000+01:00

Just a quickie today. Nothing new to report other than the fact I've been sicker than a dog. I'm not quite used to the chilly days and nights here yet and I've found myself with a rather deeply embedded chest cold. Such is life really.

So, if all goes well, I hope you'll be able to view this little clip. It's adorably cute and I just had to share it. Hard to believe that the French came up with these characters, but for once they've done something good.

Enjoy!!

In London

2007-08-27T23:43:00.000+01:00

For the last 5 days I've been in beautiful London towne in jolly ol' England. The first two days here it was a bit moist...well, ok, it rained. I thought it was absolutely great! I love the rain, cold, and the snow. It looks as though I'll be quite happy to be here if that's what I have to look forward to.

Mom was a bit of a maniac with finding a flat immediately upon arriving. She's a mother after all, so I'm sure she only had my best in mind. That being said, she was driving me nuck'n futs! I've never walked so much in a day in my life! And remember folks, I went throught survival training in the military! I must have walked back and forth across the city at least a dozen times. There must have been something good about the day because I found a nice little flat on the second full day being in the city.

Ok, ok, that's Kensington Palace, former home of the late lovely Diana Princess of Wales (big ears' ex-wife). It was amazing to walk through her former home and see the beauty in which she lived.

Today, Monday the 27th of August, was a bank holiday. There are quite a few of the them throughout the year. Eight to be exact. Both times I've visited London I've misteriously managed to coming on a bank holiday weekend! On this holiday mum and I decided to watch the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. Quite a site.

The following photos are of the changing of the guard and the Royal Mews. If you can figure out what mews means then more power to you. Here's a hint, it's not the sound a cat makes. It has something to do with falcons. I would say what it means by the chap at the Royal Mews who was explaining it wasn't too coherent.

And finally....

Oh good lord, how did those get in there. Cheeky blogspot!

England is finally starting to get modern automobiles. This one is a mere 3 months old!

No, no, these are the modern cars. If you look closely at the wheels you'll be able to tell which kind they are. Trust me when I say that I was just as shocked as you are right now to see who makes them. It makes you wonder why we can't get these in America. We'd certainly have less polution!

Well, that's all for this week. I'll write more next week after I've settled in to my flat and have some time to myself to ponder whether I'm doing the right thing by being here or not. It'll be a short thought really. Until then I leave you with this thought.....

Man who have hole in pocket feel cocky all day!

Cheers!!!

The Day of Reckoning

2007-08-21T11:32:00.000+01:00

The day of reckoning has arrived. In a little more than 12 hours I'll be up up and away in a Boeing 777 heading off to the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Hmmm, I guess the other nations don't deserve mentioning in the official title of the country. How rude. LOL

I just finished a last minute frenetic packing spree, which is my usual way of doing things.

You down with OCD? Yeah you know me!

I'm finally settling down for a nice 3 - 4 hour nap, but I figured I'd post this before I pop off to slumber land. Once I do wake up all hell will break loose as my final spate of nervousness will kick in and I'll probably tear apart my bags again and repack them one or two more times. I'm sure I'll forget something and I'll remember as the aircraft is taxiing down the runway and I'll kick myself in the ass for having to spend twice as much money in London to buy the very same thing I already have! But that's the way things work, and I've learned to deal with it.

Ok, so those of you who take the time to read this, I want to give you forewarning now that I fully intend to switch over to "proper English" spelling once I've landed in the UK. But for now, I won't subject you to words like "learnt" in place of "learned" and "whilst" in place of "while." However, you will see them in the future, so get used to the idea of someone throwing themselves fully into the language (hmmm, English, shouldn't be that hard to learn) like the students at DLI are supposed to do.

Well, it's time to retire. 0345 is too f*cking late to be up. God damn OCD, why do you make me do this everytime I fly somewhere?

Ta ta for now!

First in a line

2007-08-16T04:42:00.000+01:00

Well, this is the first in a line of blogs that I hope to maintain regularly while I am living in London attending university. I can't guarantee that I'll be able to since I'll be studying (yeah right) like mad for the next 3 years, but I have every intention to keep you all up to date on my daily comings and goings. Without further delay let's begin...

On 21 August I fly out of San Francisco for a nice leisurely 10+ hour flight to London Healthrow. I'm in a bit of an awkward situation. On the one hand I'm excited to be traveling off to far off lands and live a life I please. On the other hand I don't really like flying in a tin can for that length of time, especially on a United Airlines aircraft. Sorry to slam United, but I know their aircraft are pure rubbish, like their service. They're old and poorly maintained. Not really my cup of tea. I prefer to fly on a newer aircraft and survive.

Now I've been living in my family's home for the last 2 months before I take off for the UK. It's been a hoot. Trust me when I say that I'm full of sarcasm here. My mother has been driving me absolutely batty! She's a perfectionist. Full disclosure here, I'm obsessive-compulsive and take medication to limit the symptoms. My mother, she blows me out of the water. I like to take things easy and move at a slow and steady pace, but that's not good enough. Mom wants everything done now, and done her way. No ifs, ands or buts, if I don't do it right away she's all over my case! Back off and take it easy. I get things done, and they're done right and on time so let me be and let me do it my way and in my time line. In all honesty, I'm excited to be moving and frankly I can't wait to be on my own again! LOL Love you mom!

More to come!

Teddy's Rant

Senator Graham

Wunder......

Gay Marriage

In Sync

Letterman and Palin

Oh poor Hillary

Sarah

Don't Dis Letterman!

Dickhead

Good with his balls

Question

Too Funny

Foreskin

Truly AWESOME

Ads

The Bubble

Tim Russert

I hate Steve Jobs

Andy, my Andy

Racheal Ray and....well, you listen for yourself.

I'm Yours

David Archuletta

How about a bit of Footy?

A tribute to the original king.

Watch the vid

Back in the saddle

It all makes sense

Music

Next Stop, Super Tuesday!

Bill is back!! (Double Entendre)

Gay Wisdom

Double Entendre

LNAT

Death-nail for Rudy?

Questions for the Audience (that's you!) Answer 1

Questions for the Audience (that's you!)

News from the Isles

New Rules November 2nd 2007

New Rules!

Band of Brothers

Life in Stereo

Strike One!

School to commense

Human Traffic

5700 troops to come home by Xmas

Yesterday...

I know...

Humour in Thought

Bore-dumb (yes, I know it's spelled wrong) and Rambling

Lion

In London

The Day of Reckoning

First in a line