Bore-dumb (yes, I know it's spelled wrong) and Rambling

It's 2:45 in the morning here in London and I'm bored out of my mind. I've been sick for the last week or so and I've only dared venture out into the world once or twice to get the essentials so I won't die. It's now to the point that I have nothing to look forward to falling asleep and dream about since I've spent a vast majority of the time in my flat sleeping!

Friday, 7 September, 18 days until courses are scheduled to start. With all this time on my hands I can't help but let my mind wander and think. Over and over and over......you get the picture.....things keep running through the vacant space I used to call a brain. What the hell have I gotten myself into? Am I really ready to buckle down and spend the next 3 years studying and then another year afterwards working to be admitted to the bar to practice law? I know the answer, but I can't help letting doubt nudge his ugly little head into my thoughts. I'm spending a lot of time playing 'Wack-a-mole' with my mind and doubt right now. "You've made a mistake." WACK! "You're not good enough." WACK WACK! "You're wasting time and money and you're going to disappoint all your friends and family back in the US. Muahahahahahah!" Yeah? Well, WACK, fuck, WACK, you, WACK, and you're ability to cause apprehension in my mind! Fuck you very much! WACK! WACK! WACK!

Granted, I'm sure a lot of my feelings stem from the fact I've been cooped up sicker than a dog in a tiny little "apartment" the size of a shoe box in the closet of most women! Once I have to start going out into the city everyday to attend classes and get edjumacated I'll be much happier, but right now I'm just fucking going insane!!

Oh, and to top it off, I know I need to see a doctor, but each time I make plans to go ahead and go down to the local doctor, who by the way is only 1 block away from my flat, I feel better! Then once I start to think I'm ok and decide that I no longer need to see the doctor my body does a little revolt and decides that I'm a complete twat and should be punished severely. Stress and the weather here have been a great cause of this wonderful happening. Atypical to England, it's now 3am and right now I swear it's about 80º in my room. Since the Brits don't believe in Air Conditioning unless you're paying for a hotel I now have my window open to I can get some cool air in here, but it's just NOT helping!

There's a song that keeps running through my wee little mind. It's very apropos (yeah, check that spelling bitches) right now in this situation. Jimmy Buffett did a little ditty about expats called "Banana Republic." It goes something like this:

Down to the Banana Republics, down to the tropical sun
Go the expatriated Americans, hopin' to find some fun
Some of them go for the sailing, caught by the lure of the sea
Tryin' to find what is ailing, livin' in the land of the free

Some of them are running from lovers, leaving no forwarding address
Some of them are running tons of ganja
Some are running from the I.R.S.

Chorus:
Late at night you will find them
In the cheap hotels and bars
Hustling the senioritas while they dance beneath the stars
Spending those renegade pesos on a bottle of rum and a lime
Singin' give me some words I can dance to
Or a melody that rhymes

First you learn the native customs
soon a word of Spanish or two
You know that you cannot trust them
'Cause they know they can't trust you
Expatriated Americans feelin' so all alone
Telling themselves the same lies
That they told themselves back home

Down to the Banana Republics, things aren't as warm as they seem
None of the natives are buying any second-hand American dreams

Chorus:
Late at night you will find them
In the cheap hotels and bars
Hustling the senioritas while they dance beneath the stars
Spending those renegade pesos on a bottle of rum and a lime
Singin' give me some words I can dance to
Or a melody that rhymes

Down to the Banana Republics, down to the tropical sun
Go the expatriated Americans hopin' to find some fun

Ok, so it's not exactly my case, but it's pretty damned close! Ok, maybe not, I don't run or do ganja, and I'm not trying to evade the IRS. However, I'm living in my own little BR (that's shorthand for Banana Republic) where I was installed President of my own shoebox country and it's teetering on a very thin line, with only the slightest little wind will cause it to collapse. Nobody sneeze! If you must breathe, please, please do it very slowly and don't make any sudden motions.

Digression is a wonderful thing.

So, it's now 3:30 and I'm still not even remotely sleepy, but my eyes are hurting screaming at me that they'll make me blind if I don't lay my head down and give them a rest for what remains of the night. The smell of mutiny is in the air! Where's Captain Bligh when you need him?

Ok folks, I think I'll relent and give my tired eyes a break for now. However, you can rest assured they'll pay for this transgression. It may not be today. It may not be tomorrow, but they'll pay. Oh yes, they'll pay!

Oh yeah, if you feel like helping to support me financially, please let me know. I'm happy to accept cash, checks, coinage, etc. The exchange rate here SUCKS BIG DONKEY DICK! As I write this the £ to $ is $2.029 for £1. What the fuck? Is the queen getting some sort of kickback? Why the hell is the dollar in the shitter?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the thought for the week.

Man who go through turnstile sideways at airport going to Bangkok.